"Children borrow regulation before they develop regulation. Your regulated presence is not a luxury — it is a developmental necessity."
What ROOTS is
ROOTS is a consultation and training framework for supporting children's emotional regulation and development, developed by Dr John Connolly, Senior Clinical & Health Psychologist. It is designed to be used across clinical, educational, and family settings and provides a coherent, memorable structure for thinking about what effective support requires.
ROOTS is not a manualised treatment programme. It is a conceptual framework and reflective practice guide — a way of organising thinking about what a child, young person, or family needs. At its heart is a simple idea: meaningful change begins beneath the surface.
What's in the Professional Edition
- The full ROOTS framework across all five domains
- The WINDOW regulation tools — six practical tools for understanding and teaching regulation
- Teaching boxes for each concept: how to explain it to a child, in practice, consultation tips
- Real-world scenario vignettes for each domain (home, school, and clinical settings)
- PPLF appendix — Powerful, Playful, Loving, Free: language guide for each core need
- Consultation Worksheet — ROOTS Profile (rateable across all five domains)
- Personal ROOTS Action Plan
- Weekly Reflection Checklist
- Full evidence base and key references
The consultation flow
Behaviour observed
→
Regulate First
→
Open Curiosity
→
Identify skill or need
→
Collaborate
→
Practise & review
Regulation before reflection · Connection before correction · Skills before consequences
The five domains
R
Regulate First
Your window, then theirs — the foundation everything else rests on
Your regulation is one of the strongest influences on your child's ability to regulate. Before any intervention, the first question is: Am I regulated enough to help?
The Professional Edition includes the WINDOW framework — six tools for understanding and teaching regulation: Window of tolerance · Identify the flip · Nurture through co-regulation · Drain and understand the bucket · Own your toolkit · Weather the storm.
O
Own It
Model what you want to see — give to get
Children learn more from what we repeatedly do than what we occasionally say. What am I modelling?
- Give to get: If you want apology, model apology. If you want self-control, demonstrate it.
- Repair after rupture: Secure attachment is characterised by consistent repair, not the absence of rupture.
- Emotional honesty: Naming your own emotions out loud teaches the entire regulation sequence: notice, name, pause, act.
O
Open Curiosity
Approach with openness — understand before you intervene
Curiosity is the opposite of judgement. What can I understand before I intervene?
- Ask, don't tell: Telling does the cognitive work for the child. Asking invites them to do it themselves.
- Plan B: Collaborative problem-solving — adult and child solve the problem together with genuine openness to the child's perspective.
- Scaffolded autonomy: Provide exactly the support needed — not more — and withdraw it as capacity develops.
T
Teach the Skill
Behaviour is a missing skill, not a bad choice
Children do well if they can. When they can't, something is getting in the way. What skill is missing?
- Name the lagging skill specifically: Generic descriptions ('defiant') describe the adult's experience, not the child's difficulty. Specific descriptions open interventions.
- Teach when regulated: Skill teaching is significantly less effective outside the window of tolerance. Regulate first, then teach.
- Psychoeducation: Explaining how the brain works shifts self-understanding from 'I am bad' to 'my brain works differently and I can learn to work with it.'
S
Stick With It
The knowledge–action gap closes with practice, not insight
You will recognise yourself in this framework. You will try it and it will not always go as planned. This is not failure. What is my next step?
- Change is not linear: Relapse is information, not failure.
- Notice and return: The core skill is noticing when you've drifted and returning, without self-criticism, to your valued direction.
- Celebrate micro-progress: Behaviour change is visible in small increments before it is visible in large ones. Name the small wins — they compound.
The knowledge–action question
After each section, ask yourself: not 'do I know this?' but 'how consistently do I actually do this — especially when I'm stressed, tired, or triggered?' The gap between your answers is where the work is.
How to use the Professional Edition
The framework is designed to be used flexibly — as a consultation guide with families, a training resource in CPD or staff development, and a personal reflective practice tool for practitioners.
- Structure a feedback session after ADHD assessment — presenting recommendations across all five domains
- Organise a school consultation — identifying which domains current provision addresses and which are absent
- Guide supervision — reviewing a complex case through each domain to find gaps
- Frame a parent workshop — using the five domains as session headings
- Anchor MDT discussion — ensuring all five domains are represented in a care plan
About this framework
Developed by Dr John Connolly, Senior Clinical & Health Psychologist, BCUHB / North Wales ADHD Assessment. Drawing on: Barkley (2015); Bowlby (1969); Greene (2014) Collaborative Problem Solving; Hayes et al. (2012); Linehan (2015) DBT; Lupien et al. (2009); McEwen (1998); Neff (2011); NICE NG87 (updated 2023); Porges (2011); Shaw et al. (2007); Siegel (1999). Free to use in professional and educational contexts with attribution. Not for commercial reproduction without permission. © 2026 theadhdfamilyguide.com.